The 4 Survival Patterns Keeping You Stuck in Burnout

Most people think burnout means they need more discipline, more hustle, and more pushing, but what if burnout is not laziness at all? In the latest episode of The Brilliance Method, I sat down with Lindsey Christian, a former video producer, turned Feminine Wellness Coach and host of the She’s Sacral podcast, to talk about the hidden survival patterns behind burnout, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, and why learning to receive is often the real healing work. If you have been feeling exhausted, disconnected, or stuck in survival mode, this conversation is your reminder that healing starts by feeling safe enough to come back to yourself. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If life made you hard, you can make yourself soft again. And that's what Lindsay helps you do. That's right. Hello, my friend. Welcome to the Brilliance Method. Today we are hanging out with Lindsay Christian, who is a certified cycle coach, creator of the Burnout Patterns Framework, and host of the She Sacral podcast. Her approach weaves rituals, tools, and practices that help women feel safe in their bodies, reclaim their energy, and create lives that naturally nourish them. And to get even more out of this episode, be sure to get involved in my podcast community, receive bonus content and more at patreon.com, The Brilliance Method. Welcome, Lindsay. Hi, darling. Hi, I'm so excited to be here. What you do is so sacred, so amazing. And for everyone listening and watching today, keep an open mind. And I think when it comes to burnout, us as women think, you know, we're tough. We got this. I'm not burning out. We don't even realize we're doing it. And men too, by the way. So, Lindsay, what was the story of you getting so derailed that you pretty much crashed and burned? Like what happened?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Yeah, absolutely. So I'll just briefly mention who I was before that derailing. Always very confident, like high energy, very much like can-do type of person. I actually didn't believe in anything being too hard. I believed that we just had to figure out the formula to do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Sounds like a video producer to me. We were both video producers in a past life.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

That was always my mentality and just like high energy. I could just do whatever I needed to do. Sometimes I had some lows prior to that, but that was the state I was in before going into burnout. And so during the pandemic, started my podcast. No real focus, but it became like a nice little outlet for myself. And then after 2020, things started to change uh with work and it became more demanding. And the work that I was doing wasn't the work that I loved anymore. So instead of me doing more of the creative work, it just became just very overwhelming. And so during that time, it became And what were you doing? Tell everybody what you were doing. Sorry, video production. Um, but then my role changed from video producer to video producer and social media manager and content creator and all the other things that come with each job. And so in that, I was like, you know what? Maybe I can start to work for myself. And so entrepreneurship was like kind of booming around this time, like 2022. People were like, I'm making$10,000,$20,000 a month. And I'm like, man, what am I doing? So um with that, you know what? I've got this big audience uh with my podcast that I've poured the last four years into. Surely I can make this into a business. Yeah. So started to do the whole business thing, but I was still working. So a lot of the time that I would have to recharge and um kind of come back to myself, that time was getting smaller and smaller. On top of that, life is still lifing, it's still happening. And so challenges, family, new relationships, just a lot of different changes all happening at once. And it just started to become really, really overwhelming where I would normally maybe take a little day trip or pamper myself or do certain things that would kind of keep me balanced. That was just not happening anymore. And so then it got to a point where I was like, you know what? I just need to work remotely. So I got a new job, left that job. I was with, I was there for like six years. So got a new job, was there for nine months, got laid off. There goes more of the burnout because now I'm in very much like a fight mode of trying to like get my business going, but I still don't know what I'm doing. And then family members are are falling sick. And so it just became this storm of what is going on? Am I ever gonna get out of this? And so my sleep started to get disrupted, and I noticed my body wasn't responding the way that it used to. I was used to having like a really high metabolism, and within like a just a few months, I gained like almost 30 pounds and I couldn't get it off. I was like trying to work out like crazy, cutting back what I was eating, and I I just felt miserable. I didn't know what to do as I'd never experienced that before. That just felt very odd. So it got to a point where I was spending close to about$700 a month on my health just to try to get my body back. And that made like a slight dent. And if I missed some appointments for all the different things I was doing, I would fall right back into it. So with that, I've been going to the doctors. They can't really help me. The most they can do is like, hey, you could try birth control. I'm like, yeah, no, that's not, that's not gonna fix any of the problems that I'm having right now. Um, but okay, thanks. I'll figure it out myself. And so I just started to pour a lot of energy into research and learning how the body actually works, and then slowly but surely started to heal myself. But the number one way I was really able to do that was by turning towards more intentional, pleasurable experiences, just making sure that I'm actually feeling good. So most of the time we try to fight our way out of burnout with cutting out more food and exercising more excessively. And so I was like, you know what? What if we just have fun with our workouts? What if we just do some hula hooping or some dancing or just do things that just feel nice instead of trying to go to the gym? And that's what I did. And I noticed that my body was actually reacting to that a lot easier. And I started eating foods that were nourishing my body, but also giving me that little high at the same time. And um, so I noticed that was actually what worked, and it got me to relax. I no longer have heart palpitations in the middle of the night where I felt like on edge, and like that whole thing was just so weird. I never experienced that before, but I was there for like three years, and it was really scary because I didn't know what to do. So now I'm back, and so I'm happy to share everything that I've learned and then some with women that could be in the same position. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Thank you for sharing that, sweetheart. And it's so interesting. The answer was there the whole time because in your story, you said I was working full time and then I started building my business. So all the things I used to do for fun, I stopped doing because I was building this business. Right. So the second you stopped the pleasurable activities, you stopped having fun, right? Your cortisol levels are spiking, it's messing with your hormones. You know more about that than I do, and we'll talk a little bit more about that on today's show, too. But it was there the whole time, right? You just abandoned this one thing that's so critical, not just in our mental health, but in our physical health. And if you, honey, if you could have done it better, you would have. And and you know what? Now you get to be here and be so grateful and give yourself peace and joy and inspire others to do the same. So I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm so grateful that you're using it as a teaching platform.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Absolutely. Well, thank you for holding space to share. Hopefully, it was not too overwhelming, but I'm I'm definitely happy to be here.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I'm so glad. You know, with everything that you've been through, and so many of my listeners and patrons are in the entertainment industry or in creative industries or even in the coaching industry, they think, I know you guys are thinking this, that I don't have time to put myself first or go play or any of that stuff. In fact, I was on a coaching call yesterday, and my client was saying, well, she wants to create a podcast and she wants to do these other, she wants to do a YouTube channel and all this stuff. And she goes, but all that feels really fun. So I can't do that until I set up my website and start getting clients and da-da-da-da-da. I have to do all this stuff first. And I was like, record scratch, right? Like, er, what did you do? Like, what? She's like, I need to make money. And I'm like, whoa. I'm like, the universe has a secret, which is the more fun you have, the more money you make.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Yes. Can you talk to us about that? Absolutely. There is science behind it for those that are pretty skeptical. But when you're in states of chronic stress, your nervous system tenses up, right? So you're you don't even realize it, but you're in a state of bracing. So when you're in the state of bracing and you're really tight, your energy is also tight. And so if you ever notice, sometimes if you're just relaxed and you're like not focused on the thing that you're stressed out, sometimes you notice things just suddenly magically happen. Where something comes through, or a new client comes in, or you get a magic little payment. Something just comes through. And that's because our nervous system is now in a relaxed state. It's not in survival mode, and we're actually aligned with our true selves. And that is always built for openness and receiving. So we're in a receiving state. And sometimes when we've been holding a lot in and we put ourselves in a receiving state, everything also gets released. So you may notice more emotions come up when you're in an open state as well. And sometimes we're like, oh, I don't have time to feel. I got to get this thing done. So you tense up more. And so it kind of creates this vicious cycle that you're like, ah, forget it. And then you get to surrender eventually because you just can't continue like that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

That's right. Yeah. And what you said about receiving is key. And especially for women, we don't realize that we are divine receivers. And I learned this from Andrea Quinn, who I think I connected you with. I was like, I think you guys need to be friends because she talks so much about receiving. Like when you think of Brene Brown and you think of vulnerability, right? And there's so many people you think of a what gay Hendricks, you think of Zone of Genius. Andrea Quinn, you think of receiving. And you guys are gonna be great friends. I just know it. And something I learned from her is as the divine feminine, as a as you know, someone who is chosen to be born into this body or or you know, you're here as a female. Your job is to receive in order to create, even if you don't have children. Right. And Andre always says, if you can't receive it, it's not coming. And so much of what you just said is connected to that allowingness of receiving that helps you to create your life with joy and peace and purpose. I just hope everybody is taking copious notes and you listen to this over and over again, and you go to She Sacral and you get involved in what Lindsay is doing and offering, and you listen to her podcast because this is this is like urgent for women right now. And look, we're the ones who are gonna help take over this world and save this world. Like we're trying, right? But we're not gonna do it from burning out and marching and fighting. We're gonna do it by allowing and receiving and enjoying. It's like anybody who's been in production, anybody who has kids, any, any, any woman has to get involved in this conversation and just accept that it's the truth. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Absolutely. And preaching to the choir. There, and sometimes we have uh old wounds that we don't realize that are blocking us from receiving, you know. Um, sometimes we've had some tricks that came with receiving that taught our bodies that it's not safe to receive, that came with some obligation or some strings attached, or something bad happened when I received or allowed someone in. And that's the part that we have to work with. But when we learn how to give to ourselves and prioritize ourselves, that will teach our nervous system that it is okay to start receiving.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

For a lot of women, receiving is one of the hardest things that they ever learn. And, you know, even this morning I met someone and I was like just so in awe of how beautiful she was. I've talked to her on the phone, and she's my friend who passed away, it's his sister. And I was sitting next to her, she came over this morning, and I'd never met her before. And I just couldn't stop looking at how beautiful she was. And I was like, You're so beautiful. And she just went, Thank you. And I laughed and I was like, Did somebody teach you that? She goes, Yes. Like, you did really well. And she goes, Thank you. It was so cute. Can you help us to get into a practice of receiving a little bit? What do we start to do? Because you just mentioned sometimes we've been traumatized or we've been hurt or we don't trust ourselves or we think it's not okay to let it land. What can we do to start shifting that?

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Well, first we want to kind of recognize when those opportunities come up. And to start with the small stuff, I think that's most important because I learned this a few years back, which is like if you can't even receive a compliment, which is the simplest form of a gift, how do you expect to receive the big stuff? And so the first step is like when you receive something small, and we receive all the time, we just don't recognize it. Rather, someone holds the door open for you or they give you a compliment or whatever, not pushing it away or deflecting, or like, yeah, well, this thing is old, or no, just say thank you. And sometimes it's like, well, maybe I don't go out or I'm not, you know, interacting with a lot of people. Focus on nature. The sun is always the source for helping us and supporting us. And so just sitting out there and sitting out there with the intention of, I'm receiving the energy that the sun is giving me right now. Just starting to activate, okay, let me start to see what is already here and receive from what's already here. Because sometimes we'll start thinking, oh, do I need to demand for people to give me stuff? Or like our brains will kind of go there to try to justify why we shouldn't receive. So start really small or wherever you feel most comfortable with what you already have. Um, so if you have pets, allow for them to love on you. If you have a partner, let them help you out. Sometimes we kind of get trapped in hyper independence. For many, I was one of those, like for the longest time. I'm like, nope, I got it, I got it. Because I experience having the rug pulled out from underneath me when I was dependent on other people. And so those things happen and it teaches the body like that's not safe. So we have to start retraining our system on what is safe. So that's one small, I like to start small first and then grow from there.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

I love that. Yeah, I don't I don't think about the sun as much. I always think about the moon. Oh you know, what can I receive from the moon? I swim a lot at night. Oh, nice. And I look up at the moon, I'm like, is it a new moon? Are we birthing new creations? Is it a full moon? Are we gonna start letting go soon? But I love the idea of receiving from the sun. Yes, it's like the whole earth is receiving from the sun. It's right there. We get to just receive a breath right now.

unknown 16:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Everyone listening just took a nice deep breath with us. I know it. I mentioned before that some people don't realize they're on the brink of burnout. Cause, like you said, like this, you know, I'm just gonna get through it. I'm strong. This isn't hard. This isn't a problem. I'm just gonna go, go, go. We've trained our minds and bodies to just get through it. So, how do we even know? Are there signs that show us we're on the brink of burnout that we can start to pay attention to? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

So I've actually designed kind of a group of about eight different types of burnout patterns, but essentially they are a combination of your fears, your motivations, what's driving you, and then also your coping mechanism. So I'll focus on the coping mechanisms, which we all have. It's built into every living being. We all have a survival coping mechanism, which is gonna be freeze, fight, flight, or fawn. So you'll notice that at times when you're experiencing stress, sometimes you may not notice because you're so used to it, but you'll notice in times of stress, you'll react in one of those ways. You're either gonna freeze, I'm a big freezer, I literally even get cold, or I'll just kind of like it's annoying. But you'll freeze, or you'll fight where you're trying to prove, or you're trying to push through, or you might start little arguments or being overly sarcastic, or you'll fawn where you'll people please your way out of the situation, or try to smooth things over, or overgive and undercharge, things like that, or you'll flight where you are trying to get away from the situation, but you might do it by trying to distract yourself, procrastinating, or you can even do it by over-planning or over-analyzing a situation where you kind of become more disconnected from your body because you're living in your head so much. So if you can start recognizing what that pattern is, you can start recognizing when you start utilizing those stress patterns, that's gonna be your cue to let you know, okay, we can either stay in survival or we can start to shift things. So the first step is awareness. And I really figure out what your unique pattern is. I've created like a whole quiz. It's really short, it's only like a couple minutes, but that will help you just kind of figure out where that burnout loop comes from, especially if you notice that you've changed jobs, you've changed relationships, you've changed a whole bunch, but the outcome stays the same. There's an unconscious pattern that's in your nervous system that you don't realize is there that's driving that burnout cycle. So those are some of the patterns that can come up. And a lot of times it's hard to recognize, especially if you grew up in like really chaotic environments or survival modes at home or a lot of instability where your stress system was kicked in at an early age. And so over time, if you can had to continuously activate that survival pattern, it can actually reshape your personality. So some of us have it so ingrained that we don't realize that we are activating or acting out from our survival version of ourselves. We don't realize that there's like a whole different version of who we're really designed to be. And that's that version is the one that allows for you to receive all of the abundance and the things that you desire. But many of us have been so wrapped up in survival mode, we can't, it's hard to overcome that at times.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Gosh, and isn't it incredible to think that that true version of us, who we were always meant to be, who maybe we used to be. There were glimpses of who we used to be, is still there and is ready to play and explore and be seen and fall in love and go on adventures and write and create and enjoy your life. And you guys, it doesn't have to be so hard. I know we just want to take everyone in love.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

I know, I know. But when you're like so wrapped up in it and your body's like, we gotta survive, I mean, it's like you it's so hard to even think differently because you can't relax. So that's why it's so important to at least have the awareness, so then you can start to shift it. Because if you're not aware, you're just gonna keep creating these loops and not know why it's happening. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

And all of us have been through unbelievable stuff. And I've had people say to me, you know, I don't think I I've actually had a really blessed life. I haven't, you know, nobody abused me or I wasn't cheated on. Or, you know, I didn't have this disorder or this disorder. Like I've got a pretty blessed life. And it's like nine times out of ten, or like nine and a half times, nine point nine times out of ten, they're just really good at coping and not realizing that something really hurt them or affected them, even if it was like getting bullied or you know, things that we tend to just think, oh, this is just normal because kids are jerks or or whatnot. It's like actually, we're all sensitive beings and our our pain threshold is all different. And depending on who raised you or who your dominant parent was, or what maybe you watched or read, you think that you just are supposed to grin and bear it, and this is normal. And, you know, I'm not going towards like that everyone gets a trophy type of mentality, but we are all sensitive and unique and lovely and brilliant. And we do deserve to be loved and held, especially by ourselves. So I encourage everyone to be willing to look at their stuff and go, yeah, actually, you know what, you know when I noticed it, Lindsay, is when the other day I was playing back a reading that I had with my astrologer. And we got into a conversation about cults. And I said, Oh yeah, my dad was in a cult. And my mother protected us from that, and I wasn't in it. But the cult used to try to kidnap me, and they would show up at my house, they would break into my house, they tried to kidnap me twice. When they found out I was a vegetarian, they would leave dead animals on my doorstep, like that face, right? And so I'm just telling this story, like, oh yeah, that was just like my upbringing. Like, but I think of so many other awful things that I had been through that, like at this point in life, like that's not a big deal. And anyhow, I was listening to this replay of this recording because I was trying to find certain astrological dates from their astrology reading, and we just had this sidebar conversation. His name's Jade Luna, he's amazing, by the way. And he's been on this show twice, if you want to go back and look. And my friend was in the kitchen and she goes, Alicia, pause your computer. I was like, What? And she goes, Oh my gosh, like you went, I thought I knew all the terrible things you you went through. That and I was like, Yeah. And then I had this moment, Lindsay, that we're talking about right now of like, yeah, it was just some like awful thing that I went through, but like I got through it. And it's like, did you? Like, you also got breast cancer, you had an eating disorder, you were in terrible relationships. Like, Alicia, did you really like how well did you just smooth through that one? No, it was like years of undoing, years of telling myself I'm safe in my own home and my body, I'm safe to have pets. Like, even now, the my husband and I fight more than anything about our pets, of the safety of our pets. I'm like, oh my gosh, like I think I'm even realizing this as I'm talking to you now, Lindsay. This is how safe of a space she is, you guys. Like that comes from that, right? Like we have all this stuff that we just think, oh, I just got like this is just life, and you just get through it. And if life made you hard, you can make yourself soft again. And that's what Lindsay helps you do. That's right. Absolutely. So, another thing that you do, sweetheart, that's so connected to what I just talked about is healing burnout through pleasure and redefining recovery through nervous system repair. Cause that that's a big part of it, right? And a lot of people are talking about the nervous system right now. And I think it's there's a time to talk about it. And pleasure. Sacred pleasure. I'm just gonna hand you the mic.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Okay. Well, I definitely want to make a distinction on what sacred pleasure is and what that means, because a lot of times we already have a kind of a belief of what we think pleasure is, and sometimes we think, oh, just immoderation, or it's overindulgent, or it's bad, or whatever. And we can have shadow pleasure, which is, you know, the drinking, the binging on whatever, the sugar, whatever it is that's gonna deteriorate your body, right? So those would be shadowy forms of pleasure. There's always a shadow and a light in everything. But the sacred pleasure is really about being intentional about how you want to feel good. And so I'll give you an example the other day. And this is gonna take a little time if you've been disconnected from yourself for a while. But if you can just pay attention a little bit more, you'll be able to actually work with your body's natural system. So your your body's design, your nervous system is designed to either get away from pain and move towards pleasure. So it's got two modes. So it activates pleasure regardless. So when you feel angry or you feel upset, your body releases endorphins when you feel pain. So it's the body's natural way of healing itself. But if we can be intentional about the way we use pleasure, that's gonna put you in a state of healing instead of this like loop pattern. So, an example I have is a couple of uh weeks ago, I just felt this craving of I wanted to go somewhere old. Like I wanted to smell old smells. And I was like, but I want to go somewhere where I actually know someone. Like in my mind, I'm like, I wish I could go to like a friend's old mom and pop store, but that didn't exist. So, but that was like a craving I had. I was like, why am I craving that right now? So I actually just decided to go visit my dad, who's actually he's um going through chemo right now. So I went to go see my dad, and that was a space that has all those old smells and reminders of childhood memories and all of that good stuff. And after I left, I felt great. What was the science behind that? It that like nostalgia or even trying new things can boost dopamine, and so I didn't realize it, but that part of my pleasure chemistry was low. But a lot of times we'll just override our thoughts and be, oh, that's weird. I don't know, why would I think that? And we'll just kind of go right back into whatever we're doing that's not helping our bodies heal. And so it really starts from taking time to listen to yourself and just kind of exploring those ideas or hunches or thoughts that come up versus shutting them down. So that's kind of the first step. Like if we have cravings for something or we're just kind of having this desire to do a certain thing, it's probably a clue that your body is really trying to regulate itself and not to overthink it too much or like get stuck in your head that it's weird or it doesn't make sense or it doesn't fit in your day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

And people tend to think intuition has to be psychic stuff or, you know, woo-woo. And truly, it's our sense that our body is telling us what we need. You know, it's like even if you're craving, you might be craving an orange, and it's like, oh, you just need some vitamin C. Like your vitamin C might be low, or you're craving going outside. Okay, well, you know, you need that hit from the sun, like you're talking about. So it's just about listening to ourselves and knowing we're safe to do that, choosing to do it, remembering that we have the choice to do it. Like we keep backing it up, backing it up. It's like, oh, wait, I have another choice. I can pause, you know, unless you are literally like hosing water on a burning fire, you have a second.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Yes, absolutely. So that's that's kind of the first step that I would take in in whatever situation, because it could be different for maybe there's not a stressful trigger, but you just have a craving for something. I just have a couple little practices. I jot it down in case if you find yourself into some of those survival patterns. So if you notice that you're ready to like pick a fight, you're feeling really annoyed, or you're feeling super irritable, or you're not even maybe, maybe you're not angry. Maybe you're just trying to like push really hard for something, you're most likely in the fight mode. And so that is kind of like the default survival mode, but it does have some power behind it, which is going to be like setting boundaries and leadership. And sometimes there is a time and place for fight, but some things that you can do, rage rituals where you kind of just scream into like a towel or just kind of get that energy out. It's an abundance of fiery energy that you may be having. Sometimes what I like to do is if I feel really angry about something, I'll write it all out and then I'll burn it and just kind of watch it burn. And even smelling the smoke of the fire can actually be very soothing for the nervous system during that time as well. Of course, if it's not too smoky, like please don't like smoke yourself out, please.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Nobody burn your house down, okay?

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Let's not like come on, guys. Let's right.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

And you know, some safe ways that's one of my favorite ways, too. I'm very, you know, kind of witchy about it. But I'll even just I have a metal sink, so I'll even just like have the water going really slow on one end of the sink at front of the faucet, and then just like burnt that should burn it, and then like as it's burning, the flame gets a little high, just bring this faucet over. Okay, so do this mindfully. But yeah, those are great. What else you got?

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Yeah, or you can also do some more cardio or some good higher energy dancing exercises as well. So if you want to just like get some energy out, that's really good if you're in that flight mode. If you find yourself kind of overthinking or rushing or getting really panicky, then you're likely in flight mode. Power behind flight mode is that it can help you with movement, it can help you with innovation, it can help you with kind of creating some future thoughts and preparing for the future. So it has some advantages, but if you notice that it's in response to like stress, some things you can do is um just some more grounding rituals. So getting your feet on the ground outside, that can help. I'm using a weighted blanket, just kind of weighing the body down. That's gonna help bring you back to center as much as possible. You can even just kind of ask yourself, what am I avoiding right now? Like what am I trying to get away from? And just be honest and recognize what that feeling is trying to tell you. If you notice that you're going into people-pleasing and over-accommodating and approval seeking, then you're likely in fawn mode. Of course, the light side of fawn is like compassion and empathy and you know, sacred service, things like that. So it has some good strengths as well. But if we find that we're in fawn, some things we could do. Um, covering my face right now. That's my thing. That was my thing, and that actually led me into burnout as well. Because I was like times where I probably could have charged appropriately and made more money so I didn't have to work as hard and stay stuck in burnout, I was stuck in fawn mode because I was in a space of survival. So it happens, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

Yeah, yeah. I'm good, I'm pretty good at charging my worth. I just sometimes, if I think I've upset someone, and this goes back to a trauma response. If I think anyone's upset with me, like my whole world shuts down. And it's all I can focus on. I want to make things better. And like I just might be even in my head about it. So, like, the are you okay? Is everyone else okay? It's what is it? It's a distraction of no, Alicia, you know who's not okay? Look in the mirror. Let's ask you, are you okay? All right, back to the expert.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

No, no, and what we don't realize a lot of times is we actually end up doing self-abandonment. So we're so focused on being there for everyone else, but like the irony is that we're losing low loyalty towards ourselves. So you can't be loyal to everything and be loyal to yourself at the same time when they're not aligned. So do remember that. So mirror work is really powerful, just taking a moment to really look at yourself and recognize that you matter and affirm your worth on a regular basis. And I did that during a time where I needed to heal and it did actually start shifting things for me. It's hard to do at first. Like the very first time I did it, I was like, this feels weird. Or man, I never really took the time to really look at myself. So that's something that you could do. You can also practice a lot of times we hold a lot in, we don't speak. So you can even do some humming, and that will reset your vagus nerve, which is kind of like the biggest nerve of a nervous system, which starts here, and that will actually reset your digestion. So I do it right now, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

So you can just and you can actually just feel the vibration too. Just I know I'm trying to make a song out of it.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Come with us, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Come with us.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

So, what's happening with the vagus nerve? What is the vagus nerve?

SPEAKER_02 36:00

The vagus nerve is the largest nerve in your nervous system, and it starts all the way from your throat and goes all the way down to your digestive system. So sometimes if you notice, if you feel really anxious, your stomach kind of gets up in knots and it gets really um flippy or something like that. That will actually reset that. And so sometimes you may notice, even unconsciously, if you feel a little stressed, you might hum a little song or you might do that and not realize that you're doing it. Or you can do some deep breathing that also reactivates or resets the vagus nerve as well. So a lot of times when people have trouble with speaking out and activating that throat chakra, they'll notice they'll have digestive issues too.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

So it's all connected. I love that. So whenever I do a coaching container, I focus on the chakra. And I just wrapped up the Emerald Collective on the heart chakra, and now we're doing the sapphire collective for the throat chakra. Nice. Yeah, to just like expand, get that out. So I didn't even know that it was connected to the vagus nerve. And even when knowing the name of your rebrand of she sacral, I was like, yes, this makes so much sense with our sacral chakra. And that's right. I know you know a lot about chakras, and my audience loves them. So, or at least they're learning too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Good, good, good. So that's what they could do if you notice yourself kind of over pleasing. Just come back to yourself and really ask, what do I need right now? What is something that is going to take care of me in this moment? And also pausing before you react. Pausing before you ask, are you okay? Really ask, what did I do? Like, did I really do something wrong? Or if somebody asks you for something, don't react and say yes right away. Take a moment and look at my schedule. I'll get back to you. So it just depends on the situation.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

But those are things you could do. That that last thing you said, that's been a big one in my life that's helped me so much. Really? Especially in yeah, in knowing like when someone is upset or if I think they're upset, I pause and I go, are they actually upset? And the amount that I'm reacting to it, go, how much of this is real and how much of this is like 12-year-old Alicia that was traumatized. Right. So that's key. Just pause and sit. There's a Pearl Jam song called Don't React, Respond.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

And I love that song.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

It's so helpful, especially when you have tried to learn how to navigate chaos through keeping the waters calm as much as possible. Even though you're holding all this fire in and you're just taking it all and it's eating away at you, it is affecting you. We want to make sure that we're keeping balance. So that's important. And then freeze for my freezers out there. You literally want to warm up your body as much as possible. So even just like warming up your hands, you'll oftentimes dissociate from your body when you are in freeze mode. So you might live in your mind a whole lot more, but your body is still here, or you might just feel like just stuck. Sometimes timers are really helpful just to create a little bit of urgency to snap you out of those moments, getting your hands in some like warm water as well, and just kind of waking the body up. So we want to get into kind of wake mode, wake up mode, and then kind of shaking the body a little bit, just kind of do a little, a little shake, a little shoulder shake that can also help reset the body because what we don't realize is all animals in the wild go through these survival patterns.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

I was thinking that. Yeah, so many times I'm like, wait, my dog, everything you've said of like my dog naturally does that.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Yeah. Yeah. So animals already do this. And so they kind of the advantage of their primal state knows how to regulate itself, but because our minds are so active, we can literally keep reactivating that stress cycle and stay in it. And so that creates that chronic stress loop where it can completely redefine you. So we're all we're all beings, we all have this survival system, which is awesome. I love that, but a lot of times we just don't know how to work with it. So we get in our heads and we say, like, oh, I don't know why, why would I do that? Or I don't, I need proof. You know, we kind of get stuck in this, and that keeps us from healing properly.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

Wow. Well, I hope everyone looks at the links and takes this burnout pattern quiz and reaches out to Lindsay to get it. She offers a 30-day pleasure reset. There's so many different ways to work with her one-on-one. And depending on when you find this episode in the future, just go to her website, shacral.com. There's gonna be more, more in there than we've even covered today. And was there anything else you wanted to say about that before I tell you my quiz results?

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Um, no, no, we're good. I want to hear what'd you get?

SPEAKER_00 40:56

So I took the quiz. Yes. No surprise, I'm a harmonizer.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Okay. That makes sense. So that aligns with what you're just saying, right? It does. It does. And obviously, there's more in the email. So make sure you put in your email to get the full details of your results. But the first page just says you're warm and connective, bringing people together in harmony, but in burnout, constant peacemaking drains your body and spirit. Your recovery begins with boundaries that protect your glow. Look at this neon sign behind me, and you've got one too. And we both have the same response. And I'm sure many people listening and watching do too. So tell me a little bit more about this. And I'm going to return the gift by pulling some cards for you and our audience after this. Oh, beautiful. And I just had a moment. So I paused for a second to tell Lindsay I had to go pee real quick. And I came back and I thought, wow, I've come so far because I remember being five years old in karate practice, and I was so nervous to disrupt the class. I held my pee as long as I could, and I wound up peeing and standing in my own pee in class, hoping everybody. I know, sweet little Alicia. She was so scared to be disruptive and to be upset anyone or get you know extra attention or miss anything, right? And now I'm like, hey, I gotta pee out right back. I'm like, go you, like almost 40 years later, I'm like, I got this job.

SPEAKER_02 42:28

Good job, little Lily. That reminds me, I had an experience like that, similar. I remember I was like six, six, six, five or six years old. And my mom's like, Do you have to go to the bathroom? I was for a Halloween costume party or or a contest at the mall. So cool. And my mom said, Do you have to go to the bathroom? And I was like, No, but I was so nervous. I just said, No. And she said, Okay. So then we got to the stage and I was like two kids away, and I just peed on myself. What was your costume? I was an angel all white. So now I'm like thinking back, like I I didn't even know I was probably peeing because I I just my body, I was so nervous that I just peed and mommed me up. Like I like I got it. She's like, you embarrassed me. I can't believe you did this. I think I deleted that memory. Thanks a lot for bringing it back.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

You're welcome because now, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

That I never realized it because I always have like kind of this a fear, not a fear, but a hesitation with really fully being visible. I've noticed I'm working on it. And that might actually play a role. I always thought it was because I was bullied. Growing up, like in middle school, but now I'm like, oh my gosh, that's probably a subconscious thing.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

Oh that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

Anyway. Look at us having breakthroughs on this show. That's crazy. I love it. I love how the universe just put us together so we both could expand from that memory. And everyone listening and watching right now is thinking back to when they were little and like something like that, right? Where they didn't speak up for themselves or they got scared. And it's true when I went to hypnotherapy college, they taught us most of our responses as adults come from patterns that are developed, you know, and synapses in our brain that are created when we're between the ages of two and nine. We think like that's the truth and how we're supposed to respond for the rest of our lives. And we have to do all this deprogramming and changing and work to like unlearn all this stuff as adults. It's like no wonder, like, you know, parents are always so scared they're gonna mess up their kids. And it's like, you will, it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

Like you bounce, you'll bounce back and they'll they'll make a great podcast. Oh my god, I love you. Oh gosh. Okay, so I'm gonna share a little deeper into you being the harmonizer. So if this isn't right, then let me know. But it is it sounds like you're likely to be an extrovert and that you crave security and that you lead from your heart. So it sounds like you need emotional and relational safety. So you need to feel safe in your relationships. You may burn out when you're surrounded by a lot of conflict or instability or unreliable people. You may thrive in community, expression, and connection, but you may burn out when you feel silenced, ignored, or disconnected from others. You lead with empathy, warmth, and care, but you can burn out from people pleasing, emotional overextending, and carrying the group's harmony on your shoulders. Does that sound in alignment?

SPEAKER_00 46:14

Yeah, you know, the introvert-extrovert thing is always back and forth with me when I'm day, right? Yeah, when I took my Myers Briggs a couple of times, and I'm always an INFJ. So I always start with the introvert side and I love these intimate conversations, but I love public speaking. I love officiating weddings, I love leading group coaching calls. And in the quiz, there was a question about being alone versus being with people. And I do find, although I crave alone time and I need alone time and I do recharge on alone time. When I have my people, like my people around me and happiness and joy and laughter and friends around me, I snap back better. I'm more inspired, I love going to concerts. So there is something in my healing that's connected with people, but I can be quite shy. And I don't know if extrovertedness and shyness, what the connection is there, but I'm a wallflower at a party. I'm not the center of attention. And when I get attention, I start getting nervous, but then I start to like it. Right?

SPEAKER_02 47:16

Yeah. I'm also an INFJ. You are, yeah. But there, you know, there's a spectrum for each of those traits. And I actually did a full podcast series on the burnout archetypes for every personality uh type. So we just wrap that up. If you want to check that out, I will so there's a that spectrum between like introvert and extrovert. So sometimes I listen to like multiples of the different episodes because I might be higher in one over the other. So they all overlap, you know, we can't like totally box ourselves in completely, but it's just like a little guide in a way to see where we also end up burning.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

The last thing here, read the last couple sentences you said again.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

You lead with warmth, empathy, and care, but you may burn out from people pleasing, emotional overextending, and carrying the group's harmony on your shoulders.

SPEAKER_00 48:11

That's what it was. Okay, so in 2024, I paused my Sapphire Collective. It was a different version than I'm doing now. Right now I'm doing a 90-day pop-up. And depending on when people find this episode, that pop-up might be over. I might be doing a different one. But there's always fun ways to work with me. And I think that was it. And I couldn't quite put it into words, but what you said now really resonates. I love leading group calls. I love teaching, I love guiding, I love channeling. But there were some things happening in the group dynamic where like some people were mad at each other, and like I couldn't fix that or help that. You know, people started collaborating, it didn't go well, and like I can't fix that or control that. Like you bring people together in a group, some people are gonna make friends, some people aren't. Some people wanted to leave because they didn't like how some people were just so open on the group and other people left because they felt like they couldn't express themselves enough. It's like, oh my gosh, like I can't make everybody happy all the time. And I wanted to launch my podcast. And I'm like, I need energy to launch my podcast. I'm like, I think I need to pause because I'm channeling teaching every week and I want to move that channeled energy into leading the podcast. What we're talking about today, Lindsay, makes so much sense. And I think I actually really needed to pause it because I was burned out on carrying the group, even though I was like, I'm not burned out of teaching, I'm never gonna run out of shit to say. Same.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

I just couldn't put my finger on it.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

Yeah. Wow, this is eye-opening. I couldn't put my finger on it. It was carrying the group. And I think I didn't want to admit that that got hard for me. And I'm doing a pop-up group now, and it feels really easy, and the harmony feels there. And it doesn't mean everybody likes each other and some people are working together again, and like, you know, same thing, but like I just have a different approach to it now.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you can flow a lot better.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

But I took the year to work on myself.

SPEAKER_02 50:08

Good. Really good. That's so important. Because then you'll feel you'll notice that you feel like you can't like break through certain things, and I think that's why understanding your pattern is so important because you can keep changing all of these different things. And if you still um end up with the same result, it's like, what's the problem? Am I cursed? Um, but recognizing those patterns. So for me, mine was was similar, but I'm a little bit more introverted to where mine was the devoted anchor. That's my pattern. And my problem was basically loyalty burning me out, but it it's more like when I overly commit to something, if I walk away from it, it feels like failure, even if it's not serving me. So that's something that I have to be aware of. And sometimes that's not even just people, that could even be your diet. If you, if you're you eat a certain diet and you're like, it's not really working, but I've committed myself to and I've told everyone else about and I've put this, I bought this t-shirt for it, but then you're like, your body's suffering, but you don't want to let it like though like burnout can show up in so many different ways. And so that's why I say it's not from working too hard or any of those things. It really comes down to your patterns, but also learning how to create a system that works with you, not just kind of like organizing and like doing all these like basic things that people share, like, oh, rest more or organize. It's not gonna heal my burnout.

SPEAKER_00 51:49

No, organizing stresses me out. I'm starting to get better.

SPEAKER_02 51:56

I spent three hours organizing my pantry and now I I didn't get anything else done. So it shows up different for everyone, but that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Wow, it's amazing. Well, like, look at the breakthrough I had just from taking this quiz and you reading the results to me, right? So everybody go take this quiz and book a call with Lindsay and go over your results and talk about this. And like we all need you. Thank you. You're welcome. And corporate needs you. Thank you. And we need you. Thank you. I know. I love that amazing. Okay, well, I would love you to receive and set an intention. So everybody, not just Lindsay, you, my love, my darling, the sacred person who has their headphones on or might be driving or listening to this at work, hoping nobody notices. Set an intention right now. Set an intention. And these cards are here to guide you. I am making my own Oracle deck, but right now I'm using the work your light Rebecca Campbell deck. She's so brilliant. So, Lindsay, you're gonna pull the first card, and when you're ready, when you feel it, say now. Pleiades. Ooh, we'll talk about this. Okay, and then second card, I'm gonna pull. So perfect. Okay, so this first card, Penny Pleiades, double mission, channeling and uplifting humanity. Wow. Tell me about that reaction.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Man, I'm feeling that for sure. I'm definitely feeling drawn to the collective. Like, I I can't just I want I even said to myself the other day, I was like, you just need to make a bigger goal of helping one million women get out of burnout. Like, so I was like, I just need to set this because if I strive for that, then I'll get like one percent.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

So they said how about a billion, billion, billion, a billion, ten billion. There's not even ten billion people. Okay, so the Pleiadians are a beautiful race of beings who are a planet of peace. They are so peaceful, and they love to study us because we are a planet of love. And the human race has such a great capacity for love. Maybe other planets and races, if you are open to these ideas, I think our universe is only one of many universes, so there must be life somewhere else, and all these beautiful suns creating energy and life. And there's other planets or uh communities that are so good at technology or peace, right? And and we're really good at love, even though we destroy each other all the time. We're not so good at peace, and technology has blown us up in the past. Sorry, Atlantis. All right, but the Pleiadians are here for peace. So peace and this inner peace, this inner harmony is part of your mission, Lindsay. And for everyone who's listening right now, this is part of your mission too. You've chosen to be a participant in this episode today because you crave more peace for yourself. And Lindsay is a teacher of peace. So let's impact a billion. Hopefully, we'll get a million. So I love seeing your face. I hope everyone who's listening is also watching the show. You can watch it on Apple and Spotify when you're logged in and on YouTube too, uh, and on my Patreon. So the second card is take a break. Oh, if that's not a she sacral card, I don't know what is. It says a life's work, not a season. Get off the treadmill. Okay. This is your life's work. All right. It's a marathon. You get to rest. So I think our mess is our message. And the work that we do, we're doing it because we also need to keep hearing it so that we can be a step ahead of everyone else. We're leading up the mountain. Yes. So as you go impact a billion, rest, do your own program, Lindsay, over and over and over. Me too. I'm going to start implementing what I've learned from you too. And I hope whoever is watching this right now or listening, go play. Go when you hang this up. If you don't have to go back to work, and there's a choice. Now, if you're if you have a regular job and you gotta stay there till a certain time, fine. But if you can go outside, like she said, and receive from the sun, or if it's nighttime, go receive from the moon or the stars or your own ancestors, people who have crossed over, family, go hug them. Go hug and cuddle your pets, go get your energy out, like my dog does all the time when he's being crazy. Get some zoomies in. Go get your zoomies and take a break, right? We think, oh, take a break always means like, oh, I need to go take a nap. It's like, no, sometimes it means like go for a walk, like move your body. So I love these cards. It's so perfect. They're so perfect, aren't they? For what we talked about today.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Beautiful. Yeah. Thank you for sharing your energy today.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Oh my little baby. You're welcome. It was so great to be on your show. I can't wait to come and be on your new show. Yeah. It's not even new at this point, but um, your newer show. It's a baby. It's a baby. Well, it will continue to be wildly successful. So everybody go to shesacral.com, take your burnout pattern quiz and follow the She Sacral podcast. Rate it five stars. Help her boost this new beautiful show. And I want to send so much love to your father.

SPEAKER_02 58:14

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. It's been a journey.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

That's what's his first name? His name is Grady. Grady. So everyone who's listening and watching, I encourage you to light a candle for this magnificent man for healing, recovery, energy, just to feel good each day in whatever way that he can. So thank you, Lindsay, for allowing me to invite that. If anyone is involved in prayer circles, healing circles, just see Grady's energy illuminated.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

Absolutely. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 58:48

You're welcome. I so appreciate you. Is there anything else you want to leave us with or guide us into connecting with you further?

SPEAKER_02 58:55

If you want to connect, just click wherever links are available there, and I'd be happy to meet with you.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

How wonderful. And isn't that fantastic? You know, we think that people who come on the show don't have time to spend time or aren't prioritizing one-on-one time with people because they've created this amazing brand and these products and these services and they have their own shows. And we are all still human beings. And I tell people, if you email me, I'm the one responding to you. Like, yes, I have a team, but it's me. If you're emailing Alicia, it's me. So we're human beings. We love you. We want to spend time with you. We want to help you. We want to support you. We want to shine a light on you. If you come to our calendars and they're full or turned off temporarily, come back again in the future or reach out and say, What can I get involved in now? Maybe in a group container or a replay of something. So empower yourself to reach out and connect and receive. Yes, receive. Allow, allow, allow. All right, my angel. This was so fun. We will do it again. I want to talk about cycle tracking and how that can help the budding and blooming entrepreneur next time you come back. Absolutely, for sure. How fun. This or something greater.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:11

Bye. Be sure to connect with me at patreon.com forward slash the brilliance method. The only way I'll know if you're loving the show is if you leave a comment, five stars, and subscribe.