She Died Three Times… Here’s What She Learned

What happens when life ends… but awareness doesn’t?

In this episode of The Brilliance Method, Lauren Perlingi and I explore near-death experiences through real, lived perspective and what they reveal about fear, purpose, and the way we’re meant to live. This isn’t just about what happens on the other side. It’s about how understanding it can completely shift how you show up right now.

You’ll walk away with a deeper sense of peace, a new relationship with fear, and a clearer connection to your own intuition and path. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected, this conversation will open something up in you.

Listen, reflect, and notice what shifts.

Connect with and work with Lauren at ⁠https://linktr.ee/themermaidlight⁠

Connect with and Work with Elysia at ⁠https://www.elysiaskye.com⁠

Join Elysia’s New and Full Moon Divine Direction Calls⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/thebrilliancemethod⁠

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Record your podcast on Riverside⁠https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=elysia⁠

@elysiaskye  @thebrilliancemethod
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

When somebody dies, but they come back into their body, it's called an NDE or a near-death experience. And today's guest has had that happen three times. So in this conversation, we're going to explore near-death experiences in a way that's going to challenge how you see life, fear, and even your purpose here. And not from theory, because my guest, Lauren, tells it all. And what she came back with isn't just perspective, it's a completely different way of being. And in this episode, you're going to start to understand how to move out of survival mode, release what's been weighing you down, and reconnect with yourself in a way that feels honest, grounded, and actually doable. Less noise, more clarity, which I'm all about. You're going to have more trust in your own path. So if you've been feeling overwhelmed and like there has to be more to life than what life has been offering lately, well, there is. And this episode is going to show you how to access it in a healthy and powerful way. Hello, my friend. Welcome to the Brilliance Method. Today we are hanging out with the incredible Lauren Perlingi. She is an intuitive human design biz guide. She is a trauma healer, a theta Reiki master, a meditation coach, author, motivational speaker, and shamanic practitioner. She fits right in on this crazy show. And she helps women with multifaceted trauma liberate themselves from their past and transform from victim to victor.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

So hi, Lauren. Welcome, Angel. Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm honored to be on.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

You're welcome. Oh my gosh, my pleasure. Where did this passion for being a better human come from? Because a lot of people are totally fine to sit in victimhood. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

So mine kind of started, I want to say, probably right after probably my a near-death experience, or maybe after my very, very, very toxic divorce and custody. And I think I was just navigating my whole life really intense anxiety. And I had this very pure or deep sense of hopelessness. And nothing really like worked. So like traditional world. So like nothing, you know, like talk therapy didn't work, medication didn't work. It never really gave me like the true answers that I was looking for, I should say, until, of course, like one does gene scrolling on Instagram. I stumbled upon like human design. And then I made my chart, and like for the first time ever, I felt like I was seen. Like I just my soul like exhaled. Like everything in my chart just made sense. And at the time I felt like I'm okay, like I'm fine. I think I could just stay in this victimhood, like you said. But then there was like this pull that I had to be better for my daughter. So when I first started, it wasn't for me. It was for my daughter. And then it was for me. And I feel like I have to say that because a lot of us feel like we don't do it or we do it for ourselves. And then, like, what about our kids, or what about our partners or whatever, our family or whatever. So I just kind of like kind of sat in that truth. And I guess it's been about seven years I've been on my human design journey. So I've got through a lot of deconditioning. It was the moment where I just self-taught myself human design. Like I don't claim to be a certified reader. I just feel like I look at it not from a book experience. I look at it from actually experiencing things, doing it the wrong way, messing up, failing. And just now just honoring it's actually the framework to my entire business. And I use it to basically help others remember who they are and how energy naturally moves through your body. And that's why I love both systems because I can tangibly teach it and tangibly help people embody it to come home to themselves. So that's a little bit about.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Yeah. And you know, helping people to remember more of who they are and their purpose. Like what a gift. And that's the guide that you are. And I don't give a shit that you don't have a certification and whatever. Like how many thousands of years have gurus and teachers and mystics walked this earth and saved people's lives and helped people and shown them the mirror of their magic. And they weren't certified, right? It's like you've already got the the Theta Reiki thing going on. Like you're good. You're good. And I think with like astrology and human design, like any system that's out there, even religion, you know, you you joked earlier, you call yourself a Catholic witch. It's like, are we certified Catholic? You know, and I certified Jewish. It's like, can we just allow ourselves, and you do this so beautifully, just to accept our magnificence? Yeah, 100%. Okay, well, you said a lot of interesting things, and I'm an NDE junkie. I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching near death experience videos. And I actually had sought out recently another intuitive who had a very severe NDE. So he's gonna be on the show at some point this year, too. So you're my first near-death experience guest right now. And oh, I'm first of all, I'm so sorry that happened to you. And also, I need to know everything about it.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Very open to talk about it now. I had to be very careful talking about it up until I guess it's been four years ago now, until like custody and stuff, because they like to pull everything. So I had three and they're all self-inflicted. So my first one, and I'll tell you each one opened my mind differently and also gave me a perspective of probably helped with getting out of victimhood. My first one was literally right after I gave birth. It was probably a multiplitude of things. I had really bad postpartum. I was in therapy when I was pregnant and also after. And then I was put on medication that made me feel numb to the point that my daughter would be crying and I didn't care. I never hurt anybody but myself. I do want to say that. I'm not a terrible mom. I went through a lot of that shame and guilt, but I often hear people online saying, like, how could people do that? You know, there's an incident that happened in Delaware that somebody killed their child. And it's like, I feel the empathy because it's like, how do you know what they're going through? How do you like you don't know her story, you don't know her side, you know, like so? Anywho, that's the first one.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Truly, truly it is. And I want to just like, I know I sounded really excited to talk about this, but I want to tell you why. So it doesn't sound so dark and weird. Everybody who I have watched that's had a near-death experience, whether it was self-inflicted or not, comes out completely transformed and has a totally different perspective on their life. And for people who have called that in in their soul's journey here as a human, they are here to be better people, be kinder people, and be examples to other people. So again, I'm sorry that of all the hardship that you've gone through and all that pain and even that numbness that you shared. And like, I'm just so excited to hear the beauty that's come from it too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

That was the first one. So basically, all three of my near-death experiences. The second one, it was right before I left my ex-husband. And it was a it was a night that we are both home. He had left and went to the bar or whatever, you know, went out, you know, out cheating, whatever he was doing. And right before he left, he was like, Maybe you won't be here when I get back. And my in my mind, my woundedness, that's literally what made me do that all three of this, was like, maybe that's true. So my daughter was sleeping upstairs and I took a whole bunch of pills. I don't even know if it was or I think it was mixed with narcotic. It was like a whole bunch of pills, and I drank a whole bunch of alcohol. And he found me on the floor. And uh, you know, of course, I went to the hospital and, you know, he lied and said, you know, I think she's just sick. She, you know, like he didn't want to make it, you know. And the grand scheme of things, I'm so happy that he lied about it because this would look really bad. Really, really bad. All three times I want to say, it was like, I know what happened. I don't, I was like out of my body. I do have a lot of, you know, different visions, kind of like nightmare, kind of like I just I don't see it's not like I seen white light. It's like I see my grandmother. And all three times I was like, it's not your time. You need to heal. And each time that that happened, I I thought that the easiest way to do that was to run away from myself. It more looked like I could see my wounded self. It looked very scary. I couldn't do it alone, that type of thing. And my third time, I actually was probably out of my body. It felt like a forever. Um, but I was on my kitchen floor again, did pretty much the same thing, but it was more heavy, like fentanyl kind of, you know, um, drinking alcohol, that type of thing. And nobody was there. And the moment that my daughter wasn't there either, and the it was like, I don't know, maybe like a whole hour goes by. It was more like I look at the time and it was like 13 hours. And I know for a fact I wasn't like there, I was dead. Like I was, I was gone. And then something happened, and like I said, I can't remember what happened, and then I was back in my body. But I could I couldn't look down on my kitchen floor and I'm like, that's my body. Like I remember that very distinctly, and that was like, wait a second. So death is just death. Like it, you're not, you're not physically in your body anymore. And then I started to like question things like, well, why are so many people scared of death? And you know, all this stuff. And it was like when it's not your time, it's not your time. Like it it didn't matter, it doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't matter how you do it. You know, obviously I picked these three different experiences before I came here. And each time I learned something different. And, you know, I just kind of got up, literally got up and just continued. Like I had to go to work the next day. I didn't say anything to anybody, and I just continued. And in that moment, I was thinking, why, why? Why do I just continue to keep going down this road? Why do I keep to continuing? So I did talk to a healer and I did talk to my friend. For a very long time, my parents didn't even know before I published my book. Then I had felt like I needed to say something, you know, like uh, hey, just let you know that this happened. And my mom and dad's response was, well, why didn't you get to help? Why didn't you go check yourself into a mental hospital? And I said, Because it's just not something I felt like I needed to do. Sure, I probably should have gone back to my therapist. Um, but that wasn't helping. And I just feel like that's like the negative part of mental health. You know, as soon as you have those thoughts, or as soon as you did they're trying to check you into a mental hospital and put you on all those medications and like it's just not what I wanted, you know? Sure. So thank God I didn't I use my intuition about that and did not tell my parents because I might not be here. I might not have custody of my child. It's like I unfortunately had the experience of a client going through that, and I was like, oh my God, this was like the I got to see the other side of what if that happened. She has her child taken from her, she's deemed crazy, all this stuff. So it's sad that that had to happen and my pain took over what I, you know, could have spoken to somebody about. There's tons of people I could have spoken to about how I was feeling, and just the feeling of like not being wanted and, you know, nobody's gonna care if I'm gone, which is not true. It was just something that I told myself, like a story I told myself my whole life, like nobody cares about me. Um, but honestly, it was my perspective to always promise myself not to abandon myself anymore. And it was, it's my job to love myself, and it's my job to, you know, make sure I take care of my own inner child. And I think that was probably out of, you know, a different perspective of death. And now looking back at it, people call it uh selfish, and it is selfish. But at the time, that person doesn't even, they can't even think of anybody else but themselves. And anybody listening, if this is how you feel or if this is what you've gone through, it's okay to be selfish and it's okay to focus on yourself because a lot of my family members were like, Well, what about Lily? And I was like, What about me? How can Lily have a good mom if I can't even be good to myself? You know, so it starts with me, and I nobody was telling me that. I had to remind myself that nobody understands. They don't, they've never experienced what I experienced, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

My biggest takeaway is you are such a good mom. Yeah. You are. And even that question, what about Lily? And you're saying, well, what about me? Because we only look at or family only looks at. Well, what about your daughter? What about this person? What about this person? When you're really in that state of mind, if you think that you are worthless, you might naturally think, Well, yeah, what about them? They're gonna be better off without me. Right. So, so the focus to bring it back to yourself, to your own healing, to find your own self-love, value, and worthiness and magic is that's an empowerment journey. And that is what led you to, of course, getting custody of this amazing girl and for you to just be the fantastic mom that you are, because you work on yourself and you do the work. And there's a lot of parents out there who are not doing the work. And look, you know, everybody fucks up their kid one way or another, right? But people can do a better job at being kinder to themselves, which will inherently help them be kinder to their kids. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So you said that you learned something different from each NDE. Can you recall more or less what each lesson was? I'm sure there's many.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Yeah. So the first one is probably a couple words I can say is I need to stop being selfish, is the first one. The second one, I think out of everybody in this entire world, I probably harnessed the victim mentality to no end. And I'm sure people are like, oh, you you're not as bad as me, or you know, whatever. And I'm I feel like at that moment I'm so self-aware of, you know, I blamed everybody else. Like it was everybody else's fault. It was my ex's fault that he told me that I should go commit suicide or he's gonna kill me, or I'm gonna, if he does, if I don't do it, he'll do it, you know, something like that. And the second one was kind of more of like my perspective of death and how I was so scared of it, but at the same time, I wasn't because I understood it differently than the rest of the world. Well, a lot of us understand it that way, but I was no longer scared of it. And I just realized that it's just leaving this dimension. It's not like I can never come back here. And I feel like uh I don't want that karma. I probably have done that before. I don't want that karma to have to relive that again. So I will just clear that out while I'm here. And then the third one was probably the biggest one when I was out of my body for so long that I realized probably that I need to stop blaming everybody else for my problems and really start to do the actual work. And I think having my spirit kind of see my human body just laying there hopeless, like how I felt my entire life, to the point that who's can change it? Only me. And nobody else can change it. I I'm the only one that can change it. So it's like, well, here we go. This is like a new start. And I think that that was the most powerful one because I mean, I know we talk about new beginnings every month, right? With the new moon, but it's it's different. It's like I had, I could actually restart my entire life, brand new, you know, recently divorced by myself, not got rid of my house, being a better person to myself and my daughter and all my friends and everybody else around me. I think that was probably the biggest one is like, you know, having a new start and actually being able to live in the moment because I only it felt like a long, like a lifetime that I was out of my body, but it was only probably a moment. And it just, I could I seen so many things and I've so many things flashed through my mind when I woke back up. And I just realized like this is not a miracle. I mean, obviously it was. I was by myself. I know that I, you know, I died. I was literally, it was silent. Nothing else mattered. And it was more of like this pure love. And it's like, why can't I feel that when I'm here on earth? And it was like, oh, I gotta do that to myself. So that was probably the biggest. Uh that just gave me too much. There's no noise, I should say. And I feel like it's so noisy every day, anyway. And to get that back, it's like that's why I focus so much on meditation because I can bring myself to quiet my mind instead of let it control me like it used to.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

That's right. Meditation is such an incredible tool for people who are suffering of any with anything, really. Yeah, 100%. And for people who are relatively healthy or think they're relatively healthy, it's also a great tool.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Or my gosh. Well, thank you so much for being willing to share that. I just have two more, two more curiosities about it. Number one, you said you saw your grandma, and number two, you said all three times you heard a voice that said, It's not your time yet. Can you describe a little more distinctively about those experiences?

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Sure. So when I met my grandmother, it was kind of like a gate. And it was like on the other side of the gate, it was my grandmom and it was my great-great-grandfather, which is my dad's dad, which is where I got all my gifts from. And they were standing next to each other. And I went to go open the gate, but it was locked. Like I couldn't pull it. Like I was trying to pull it and walk through it. And my grandmother just said to me, It's not your time. And then I remember distinctly that my grandmother said, You need to do better. Because I feel like when I channel both of them or I channel anything, it's not emotional. It's all truth. It's all this is what it is. Those always stuck in my mind each time that I get in this mindset of like, I hate it here. I don't want this. You know, like, you know, those type of like is spiraling moments. I always remember, well, it's not my time yet. I know the universe will show me when it's my time, or you know, I need to do better. And it's more of like not to shame myself. It's more of like, I need to stop. I need to get out of the spiral and I need to really do better, you know, because I feel like I'm not doing the best. And it's more of like self-accountability. But those were the two things I still tell that to myself today because it helps remember that I've never in my life met this, my great-great-grandfather. And it's just this deep sense of trust. And he usually comes around when I'm going through something hard or, you know, I need masculine energy like support that's not physically here because I feel like I've had so much wounded masculine energy around me my whole life. You know, I love my dad dearly. He did the best that he could. Um, but emotionally he could never be there. Same thing with my mom. Love her dearly, but she's, you know, very narcissistic. And I think I've tried so hard not to be like her that I became her in the beginning. And now it's like unlearning all of that stuff to the point that I just have to have empathy and acceptance of like, you know, I talk to my grandmother all the time about it. And she's like, your mom's not your favorite person, but you need to accept, like, she's helped me with acceptance of like you just need to accept her and love her because she's not going to be here much longer, being like, she is, but she's not. You know, it's short time that we're here, you know. And do you really want to live with that regret? And it's you're, I mean, to be honest, no, I don't. You know, I need I'm better. I could be a better, I can do better. I could be a better human.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Yeah. You know, we're we're all on a forgiveness journey, and we talk about forgiveness a lot on this show. And I've heard you talk about forgiveness on your podcast too. Yeah. And it's the ultimate spiritual path. And forgiveness is not about, okay, well, I need to forgive you so that I could be the better person, so I could earn those karma points like we were joking about earlier. Yeah, no, you know, but it's truly to think of that person and just understand that they are love and we are love. And, you know, there's this saying by Marianne Williamson, which my friend Andrea Quinn says a lot, which is if you could have done it better, you would have. And when we think about our parents and all the shit they did wrong, and it's like, well, if they could have done it better, they would have. Right. And on one hand, it's like, well, then they could have tried harder, right? And on the other hand, they're on the Hot Mass Express just like we are riding with meat suit, you know, a million miles an hour towards the sun. So my friend Ingrid, who I think you'll love, and maybe you've met her on any of my calls, she does human design and she's a psychic medium. And this morning we were talking about, you know, both of us having a deceased parent. And her dad died when she was 12, and my mom died when I was 12. And she shared something really, really powerful that I want to share with our audience today and you, Lauren. That when someone isn't in our life anymore, whether they've passed away. Or we've chosen to take space from them. And especially if they've passed away when we were young or they were young, we want to tend to focus on all their good qualities. Right. You know, and I think even when your mom passes away, you'll mostly see her lightness. But that doesn't mean that they weren't a fucked up person or that they didn't have challenges. And hearing Ingrid and I were just talking about that this morning because I've always idolized my mother. Like my mother is a perfect fairy. She was the most loving, accepting, open, like A plus mom, A plus, right? But she had money issues. She she went after many unavailable men. And these are things I've never said on this show until today with you because I've never wanted anyone to see her other than perfect. And when we can accept that our parents are not perfect, right. Even after death, it's like I feel like she's proud of me for acknowledging it. And now it helps me understand her more, which helps me understand myself more. What do you think? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah. I 100% believe that too, especially because I feel like people get this misconception about forgiveness. And it's like I'm not forgiving them. And it's like until I realize until I forgave myself, my mom, my ex-husband, everybody that had hurt me without them saying sorry, like even my parents, then I was carrying that guilt, that shame, that I hate you, like, you know, all that around with me, which weighed me down, versus why can't I just forgive them for the things they'll never say sorry for? And it's like the same thing with anybody in my family. And one of my first mentors had said that to me. And I'm like, I would never do that. And she's like, okay, you know, try it your way. So I did for a while. And then to the point that I was like, okay, let's try it your way. Was like, and you know, it was true. Forgiveness is never for the other person, ever, like ever. I mean, it could be if you want to reconnect, like can't connect with them, maybe, but it's always for you so you can let go of what you need to let go of and then move forward, however, that looks like for you. Same thing with acceptance. It acceptance and forgiveness have been two things that I've been really struggling with. And even to this day, I'm not going to say I'm perfect with it, but I realize the quicker that I forgive somebody and the quicker that I accept people for who they are and stop carrying around people, like even in my like relationship, it's like I felt like so, even in my marriage today, I felt like for the longest time I would carry around shit that I didn't need to carry around. And, you know, I used to tell myself, what if it falls apart? And then I used to say, Well, what if it does? So what? It's supposed to fall apart, you know? And, you know, of course, my husband is going to listen to this. He's like, What is she talking about? But I have taught, we talked about this. And he was like, Lauren, I think you just need acceptance. And he actually helps me with acceptance because I think I'm so scared of what if it ends? And it's like, he's like, You remember uh your near-death experiences and you know that nothing ever ends. And it does, it might just look different. That's all. I actually on my podcast, there we talked about near-death experience. And the one thing that she had said to me was, Do you ever remember not existing? And I that keeps going over my head over and over and over. And she's right. I don't ever remember that I don't exist because I always existed, because it's true. We always exist because all we're doing is thinking of like the memories and it's just the places and whatever, you know. So I always often remember, like, you know, I never not remember existing. And it's just something that you can always ask yourself about like if you're going through a hard time or things look a little bit different. It's like grief, loss, it's all the same thing. It's like it could just look a little bit different. And just accepting you can't control the outcome, ultimately the universe has control of that, you know. So it's just feels lighter, I should say.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

That's right. There's so much freedom in how you talk about your life. Yeah. Yeah. And what a beautiful person to be with, your husband, who's like so there and aware. While you were telling your near death experience stories, I was pulling some Saints and Angels cards. And uh I pulled three. And this first one, so this is for you and anyone who is listening who is feeling that things are a little rough. Don't compromise. This is Saint Agnes of Rome. So this is a saint or you know, an angel in your life to look up to and to look into. There's nothing to compromise. And even how you speak about your life now and your willingness and your bravery to just even talk about your parents on the show, not like maybe they listen, who knows? You know, it's like you're not, you're not there as a people pleaser. You're here to be a healer and a teacher and a helper, and you don't compromise your message. And I appreciate that about you. So it's the immediate past card, and it's here to remind you to keep doing this. And you're welcome. And you're squarry.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

It's scary to talk because I don't want, I don't want, you know, I do tell my mom, like she, because they're very supportive. And I'm like, don't get mad. I talk about you, and she's like, it's okay. You know, I think that they understand and they're proud of me.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

So I love that. Oh, that's wonderful. So the middle card is generosity. You are such a generous person, Lauren. Like, to know you, we know this immediately. So, Saint Nicola of Myra, of course, like Santa Claus vibes all the way, right? Looks like Santa Claus. That's right. So, this is your immediate present card. So, this is you leaning into your generosity. And one of the things you teach and you help your clients with, too, in the business space, is not to give up give it all away for free. So, for for everyone listening or watching, dive into her podcast, and you can also watch it on her YouTube channel and just soak up all the magic that she has to offer and listen to those little nuggets in the wisdom of all her interviews that she does that come from her. And of course, your membership has so much included at such a great price. That's a big part of your generosity. And then immediate future, you have a guardian angel here. It says, look deeper. Okay. So, what's underneath, right? When we think about the iceberg, the glacier, like we just see the top and it looks massive. And then underneath it, it's like what, sometimes a mile or so of ice or or whatnot. And there's just more for you to learn, more for you to unravel in a good way, in a really good way. But I want you to keep looking deeper, and it feels so connected with your daughter. You and her are just made the sole agreement that she's going to continue doing the work you're doing. And she really is like low-key obsessed with the magic part, right? So, like lean into that, the witchy stuff and the sparkles and the glitter and nature, and what a cool thing. What a great mom you are to bring that into her life. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

Joey always tells my husband, he always says, She just wants to be like you. And the cussing and all, I was like, I know I need to stop. Like, I don't mind if she cusses at home, you know. She'll drop something and she'll be like, shit. And I'm like, my god, like I don't say anything, I'll like make it very obvious. And she'll just like look at me and I'm like, we don't say that outside the house, though, right? And she's like, no. So like she knows like what she can get away with, but every kid does it, okay?

SPEAKER_00 29:23

And anyone parent is listening and they're like, oh my gosh, okay, no, your kids curse. It happens. It's just that they probably just don't do it around you.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

And I'm like, you know, I want her to feel safe enough to like talk to me about things. I want her to be safe enough to be like, oh my mom, I'm gonna get in trouble, but I'm gonna tell my mom anyway, you know, that type of thing. So I am trying to work on my reaction to it and be calm when things happen, or like, you know, try not to, she has the genetic trauma of shame. So it's like I'm trying not to sh put any more shame onto her. She already has, you know, coming into this world. Sure. Sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

So your link tree and a lot of what's connected to your branding is around mermaid energy. So what's the metaphor there?

SPEAKER_01 30:07

So I was always really obsessed with mermaids. And of course, I'm I somewhere in my human design, I have to be an investigator because I investigate everything, or maybe it's just I'm like a traumatized female. I don't know. You're still as a seeker. Yeah, like, yeah, something, you know. So I've always felt like the light part comes from like being a lighthouse for people. And mermaids are very nurturing. And the mermaid energy, I've always worked with that. It's actually the first energy that came to me when I started working with energy. And I just felt like I always call on the mermaids, the actual energy to help me get through what if it's healing, if it's I need more self-love or wisdom. They're very wise, you know, very wise energy. And it's the connection between the emotional body and the actual earth. So the same thing with because they can be on land and sea. So the light, the lighthouse is more of like a lighthouse, and the human design aspect is a projector. And a lighthouse in the ocean, it helps boats. So, but it doesn't move. It's just there and it helps you come to the light, pretty much. And it's the same thing I do in my business. I will walk alongside of you, obviously. I'm moving, but I'm not going to do it for you. You have to come to me and you have to do the work. So that's kind of like the metaphor behind all of that.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Oh, it's beautiful. I so resonate with it. The first episode of my show I ever did is called Be the Lighthouse, Not the Life Saver. Yeah. And it's a big part of my whole business. And I know that the shadow side of the five profile is saving people. So it's been a big part of my journey. And if anyone is listening and you're not very familiar with human design, Lauren did a solo episode on her show and walked you through all the different profiles and what they mean. And we've talked about human design a couple of times on this show. So people should be a little bit familiar. And is that something you do when you work with your clients as you also look at their human design?

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Yes. It's kind of like what I used to do on like a first date. I'm like, I need your birth chart information. I don't really care where you live. Obviously, I do because like I need it to, you know, for like the birth information. But yes, that's the first thing that I do. I need to know who they are. And then I need to like when I'm listening to them and like what they need from me. I need to be able to like look at their chart, their astrology chart, obviously know what's going on astrologically. And then I also need to look at their human design because it tells me a lot about them without them. I'm also listening to them too. Like I've, you know, I'm I ask them certain questions of like, what are you struggling with? What is one thing you want to change? And what's your relationship with yourself? And that's kind of like what I'm looking at. And then I'm listening to what they're saying, like they're actually saying, and I'm seeing where the blocks could be. It's usually emotional or a money block or you know, something like that. But yes, it helps me. It takes off a lot of like, you're not gonna tell me what's going on. I can just intuitively feel it. I've I did both, and I'm like, this is like 12 weeks, and you're finally telling me what's going on, you know. So I did both ways, and I just feel like intuitively I just can feel it in my actual body. I can see it, I can sense it, taste it, whatever. You know, hear it. That I it's just so much easier, and I can give so much more to a person, even if it's like an intense 90-minute session with me. I it's just so much more. It's better. It's just it is more better.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

More better than a word, but yeah. I love it. It's like I, you know, for everyone listening, I sent her my birth information maybe 10 minutes before we got on. I was like, I wonder if you're gonna want to look at my human design. And like I felt totally naked the second I sent it to you. So I love that first date analogy because I mean, I've definitely been that girl.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Um your energy type is manifest and generator. I'm sure your audience knows, right? So you're really good at doing all the things and using your authority, I feel like. Your authority is emotions.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

I will think about it, but if it doesn't feel right, no matter how much I've thought it to death, I won't do it. I always go with what I feel. And I will, I'm that girl that'll cancel a flight if I just have a weird feeling. But that's part of being intuitive too.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Yeah. It's really hard being an emotional authority, I feel like, because our whole lives, like I know for me, and I'm sure for you too, and people listening, that nobody really taught us about our emotions. So we didn't, we don't know how to use them. We we think that they're weird and we don't, we're not friends with them and it they're foreign. And it's more, it's more of like, no, we they need to be our friends. We need to treat them nicely, we need to stop ignoring them, you know, like how I anger for the longest time was not my friend. And now it is. Same thing with like sadness. I didn't like to feel sad, but I was always sad, you know? You know, horror. So I think that that's probably the hardest authority is um uh emotional because there's not a lot of, I should say, research or like experiments for it. So now I think a lot of people in the human design community that have an emotional authority are speaking up about it because then they have more experience, they have more guidance and all that. So I think that that is really good to not make emotional decisions and kind of tap into like, let me feel into it. Um, because you don't ever want to think about something because then you're just gonna overthink. It's more of like, let me let it sit in my body and see how it feels and then make a decision. Right, don't rush. So yes, yeah. So and then because I I mean, I noticed sometimes I'll say yes to a whole bunch of things, and then like the next week I'm like, why the hell did I say that? When did I do that? So it's like I, you know, practicing with that is definitely really, really important because and I needed to remember that too.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

To just that's one of my motto is don't rush, do it right. And part of that is about decision making. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

And then of course, I think that you do your strategy and business to respond. I think you probably do a really good job at that too, because it's using your gut, like what feels right, what lights you up, what doesn't, get rid of like what doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

And so what is tell everybody who's not familiar, what does that mean to respond? And are there different other types of strategies they might have when they look up when they pull up their chart?

SPEAKER_01 36:38

There's five different strategies. So they each go with your energy type. So, like if you're a generator, you're gonna have to respond, manifesting generators or to respond. And what that just means is it's your gut responses. So, yes would be for you, would you be pulled towards it? You can kind of use state-of-body testing for it. Like you can stand up literally and ask yourself a question. And then if you're don't try to make your mind push your body forward, just be like open-minded, clear your energy, and ask your body a question. You'll feel your body move forward, that's a yes for you. Or you'll feel your body move away, that's a no. And make sure you listen to that, because if you don't, you're gonna be then shown why you didn't you need to, you know.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

I have a funny story about that. So I was having Thai food with a friend, and she had made a Super Bowl bet, and she was like, Who's gonna win the Super Bowl? This one or this one? And I stood up and I did that, and I said the team that won. And she's like, I don't want them to win, I want the other team to win. She was from San Francisco or whoever was playing at the time. And I was like, Yeah, my body said that's who's winning. I don't because I I don't care. I'm not a sports person. You know, of course I want everybody to be happy and make money and do all their things they do about the Super Bowl, but I did that exact test because I was like, this is who's gonna win.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Yeah. I do literally all the time. I yeah, when I can't, like if it's like my mind's too like crazy and chaotic, or I just feel like I just need to know the answer. And I always tell people too that the energy can change too. So it's like in this moment, that is the energy. So, like sometimes like a couple of hours later, I'll ask the same question, and sometimes it will change because the energy changed, just like the weather. It changes, things change, you know? And I feel like uh my husband's like the worst with this because he'll ask me something and then I'll answer the question and I'm like, well, I'll let you know. And or my I might feel different, and he's like, Oh God, you have to go do your body testing. Like he's just oops, it's funny. Cause I'm like, no, I have I I might not feel okay to do it. And I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna take, I don't care. Like, I'm gonna tell you my answer, you know? So it's like I I think I I'm so far on the other end of people pleasing that it's like I don't really care. You can, I'm gonna let you be mad, I'm gonna let you be angry, I'm gonna let you do whatever you want to do. Like, I'm just going to let you do it. So yeah, it's you've come a long way.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

People pleasing is really hard for most people.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Yeah. It's like it gives me the ick that I'm like, ooh, I'm not doing that. It's like if I do that, I just amend I know what's coming next. I'm gonna be shown why I shouldn't have done that. You know, and I said, I I I don't need to keep learning that same lesson. I've learned it my entire life.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

That part, right? We don't have to keep learning the same lessons. Like I get bored. Like, yeah, why am I doing this to myself again? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Yeah, it's just my own fault. It's like I can't even blame anybody else because like nobody has a gun to my head, nobody's making me make the decision. It's just me trying to please somebody. And it's like in my time in my life right now, I just have no interest. I'm I'm unsubscribed to that.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

I love that so much. Oh my gosh. Well, before we move on from human design, is there anything else you see or you want to mention that you feel could be helpful?

SPEAKER_01 39:57

I always go down to genetic trauma. If you're big into human design, where you can find it is you can find it in your design Mars line. So you're looking at your chart, it's the left side, and you look at your Mars. So Mars is just the male symbol if you don't know what Mars looks like. You look at the line. So it's to the right of the decimal point. So your genetic trauma is suppression. That's like your deepest wound. So that's in your cells or your DNA. You can't make it go away. You just have to heal it and just be aware. I feel like just having the awareness of like, am I suppressing something? Am I suppressing this? Am I being suppressed by others? Is like the awareness that you could be honest with yourself. So you I'm sure something in your childhood, you either were suppressed by your environment, you were suppressed as a kid, you might have trauma around like talking about your suffering. And the healing around this would just be being honest and truthful with yourself and others.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

I think that's so fair. And, you know, when I was 24, I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. And there was a very limited amount of uh genetic history in my family. And the question, and this took me really on my spiritual journey, was why did I get cancer? And so much of it was I just suppressed anger, anger of my mother dying, anger at myself from how I treated her the day that she died, anger with my dad for being a selfish person, you know, not just as a kid, but all the time, you know, and just not feeling taken care of by the people who were supposed to take care of me. And of course, my mother didn't choose to leave. That wasn't her intention. She was hit by a car. So was it our soul agreement? Absolutely. Yeah. And I'm pissed. Yeah. So there's so much more to work through there. And it manifested through my body. That's how pissed I was. And even now in my 40s, I'm only just starting to look at what I am still angry about? And where is this creating self-sabotage of my life? So it's no accident that you brought up that genetic piece today, because I think that's right on point with what I'm gonna go through next.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm very similar to you. Like, I feel like I still have some anger. And it's like, why do I have so much anger still? I feel like I've worked through a lot of it. And it's more of like sitting with looking at my past, like how I treated myself before versus how get so angry at other people versus how now I don't get so angry. And I can see it in my daughter. She doesn't, she used to get so angry, but it's like I've controlled my anger so much that she's not mirroring back to me about my anger. It's just, it's amazing how it goes from her anger was uncontrollable to you now, she's just being a five-year-old. And, you know, she's just trying to understand emotions. It's like I'm teaching her about emotions, but I'm also teaching myself because I, you know, nobody taught me about emotions. So when she feels angry, I don't try to tell her she can't. I just ask her to describe it why you're angry. It's usually because I don't give her what she wants, and that's okay. Like I try to explain that, you know, in life there's things that you're not gonna get it that you want. So she's like, I'm just gonna do it myself then. Well, if you're if you then do it yourself. Like, I don't, I don't know what you want, you know. So it's just neat how it's like full circle. I'm teaching myself about emotions, you know, and then I'm teaching her, but she's often big been the biggest teacher for me, just because I allowed it. So parents don't often, I feel like they think that they have to know it all. And I forget one of my friends was like, Lauren, you don't always have to know it all. Maybe you should be open to listening to Lily's perspective. I'm like, my five year old kid. And then I was like, Wow, she's actually a lot older soul than I am, and she's a lot more wiser than I am, even though she's consciously five. She's still, you know, I don't know where she gets half of her stuff from. Obviously. She's traveling it, but like she tells me her mind's very powerful and I can't lie to her. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, you lied to me. And I was like, I didn't lie to you. And she was like, You're not recording me. It was like something this morning. Cause I was like, look at how you're acting. I'm going to show everybody on the internet how you're acting so they can see you. And she's like, You're lying. What? I was pardoning her. And she's like, let me see your phone. I was like, no, mommy's just kidding. She was like, see, you lied to me. I'm powerful. My mind is powerful. I mean, she's very psychic. She knows I was working.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Wow. Don't mess with this kid. I know. I'm like, hurry on. That's incredible. Oh my gosh, honey. Lauren, you've been through so much. You're so wise. You're so gentle in how you hold these containers and conversations for people to be seen and be heard and let us be okay to just be messy and angry and weird and messed up in our perfectly imperfect ways. And thank you for always meeting people at their power, at their light, at their intuition, at their kindness. That's part of your gentleness and who you are. And for people to have the opportunity to get to work with you, tell us more about the Enlightened Misfits sisterhood and your mentorship programs.

SPEAKER_01 45:09

Sure. So my one-on-one mentorship, I should say, is always open and it's just more of like a personalized you get to work with me 12 weeks. It's very intense. I want to say if you're not ready for some deep healing, it's not for you. It's very intense. Just like my uh 90-minute calls that I do, they are based around human design and astrology. It could be for healing, it could be for entrepreneurship, it could be like my content's not converting, my messages, nobody knows who I'm speaking to, all that stuff. But I also have an ongoing membership always. And it's a group of amazing women. And it's different. So, like we have monthly calls. You can message me. It could be something in your business, it could be something just personal. We do get together as a group, thanks to you and your ideas. I do have a get shit done hour and it's weekly. Love it. So I do that. And sometimes we get on and we just all talk. Sometimes we're doing things. Some people are cleaning their house. Sometimes we are practicing mediumship. And I also just added hot seat coaching also to the, so that's an added call. So it's actually one-on-one coaching from me. It's really engaging too. So I always make sure that everybody supports each other. I usually have in there weekly. We also go on other people's social medias and support them, help them promote. It's pretty much just like a sisterhood of like, if you actually were all sisters, you just support each other regardless of where you are. If I love community, I'm an Aquarius, of course. Humanity is like, you know, I love humans, but I also don't like humans at the same time, you know, that type of glemma. Very Aquarian, very productor. Yes. Yeah. So it's just basically a safe space. A lot of people don't have safe spaces. And it's a safe space that you can come and just be your authentic self and nobody's gonna judge you. You show up as who you are.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

The two cards I pulled for this is one is soul family. So there it is. That's exactly what you're talking about. Call in your tribe. You don't have to do it alone. So be sure to check out this membership, this enlightened misfits sisterhood. If you identify as someone who is a little bit of a misfit, you're looking for that sisterhood and you're on a path to enlightenment or getting off this rock or just being a kinder, better version of yourself, then hang out with Lauren. And then the other one is the ever-unfolding rose, which is the work that you do that you guide them through. Cracked open, it's happening for you, not to you. That's that victim to victor that we mentioned early on that you help lead people with. So thank you. And then a third card is dance with life. Okay. I was gonna do two, but we're doing three. Do something to change your energy. Okay. So if things have felt stagnant, you're like, maybe I will benefit from community. And you and I are so similar. So when we create containers where people are truly safe to be vulnerable and show up and not feel like they have to deliver or be on or that there's anything expected of them, that's paving a pathway for them to heal and grow and be seen. And you do that so beautifully, Lauren. So thank you. Oh, well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

You're welcome. I always like look at you when I first like connect with you. I'm like, oh, she's gonna be my next mentor. I got you, girl.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Well, we will talk. And uh, and you're you're in my world, you know. So aren't here. I'm here anytime. And that's what we're supposed to do. You know, we're supposed to be here to lift each other up. And I always tell my clients, I'm so excited to learn from you. There's so much I learned from my clients. And I can't say that my father has taught me many brilliant things in this lifetime. I maybe should give them a little more credit, but working through anger. But one thing he said that I really respect and appreciate is that your kids should be better than you. Like the way you talked about your daughter are so resonate with that. Like you want to raise people up underneath you, whether they're your clients or your kids or your friends who look up to you. If you're a leader in your community, they should be better than you eventually. They should be wiser than you. Like you want them to go on that path, right? And then eventually we're at the point where we're colleagues.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Like I always tell people that I want them to be better than me. It means I actually did something. You know, like there's no competition here. I want you to be better than I am, you know, because I just have to go learn from you, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 49:37

That's right. That's what we do. Well, I loved learning from you today, and I love being in your world, and I can't wait to be on your show. Is there anything else you want to say or mention before we wrap up?

SPEAKER_01 49:47

I feel called to say that anybody listening, that I know life is hard. You just have to start somewhere. So just start now. Start today, start where you're at. You don't have to be perfect. That part.

SPEAKER_00 50:03

Yes. Thank you, love. So again, everyone, check out her links, go to her link tree, just go shopping, browse, opt in for all the things. And the podcast is absolutely accessible for everyone, everywhere. And tap into Lauren's brilliance. Thank you for being here, my love. And I can't wait to have you on again and be on your show. Yes, thank you so much. Be sure to connect with me at patreon.com forward slash the brilliance method. The only way I'll know if you're loving the show is if you leave a comment, five stars, and subscribe.